Making the most of the summer

The first moment in life it dawned on me that I might not be invisible happened this summer.

I have, by most standards, a pretty charmed life. I was in the best shape of my life. Cancer wasn’t a possibility. Until it was.

I have to be honest that the last 4 years have been a bit of slog. Pregnancy with twins-sucked. Exclusively nursing two VERY needy babies, neither of whom slept for 2.5 years-sucked. Twins toddlers. Well, that ones goes without saying. But we were really rounding the corner. We managed to go out to dinner and it wasn’t a disaster. We managed a successfully day trip this winter. Things were starting to come together. But man, did I cherish the alone time and space I was finally able to have from the twins after near suffocation during their baby and early toddler years.

But after the first indications that something was wrong, my perspective changed. (That they were better behaved and semi-manageable in public helped too! )

I took every opportunity I could to make memories with my kids this summer. We did Wonderland a couple of times, Toronto Island, the cottage, Niagara Falls, day trips to parks and splash pads- we made memories. But that’s the part in all of this that scares me the most. I made memories. Ry may have some faint recollection, but the twins won’t remember. (Well maybe C bc she’s exceptional! Haha) but the thought of my babies not remembering me is the hardest part of all this to swallow.

So I took lots of pictures. And I can’t wait to look back at them many years from now remembering the significance of this summer and those trips.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Dana says:

    Jolene,
    I did not think it possible to respect or admire you even more—this blog is outstanding. And, as so many others are aware, so are you.

    Like

  2. Susan deWaard says:

    Jolene your blog is uplifting – I admire your indomitable spirit – and your sense of humour.
    Love, Susan

    Like

  3. Carol says:

    My heart breaks for your twist in life and of your family’s saddness. Sending strength, understanding and well wishes.

    Like

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