The best by-product of this Blog has been reconnecting with so many old friends. People I have had no real contact with in years or even decades reaching out to send their thoughts, prayers, old stories, and my favourite today a boat load of old pictures (thanks Rach and Dave for breaking monotony of day #4 in the bubble). It’s crazy how quickly you can pick up with some people from the past. How the love and warmth doesn’t dissipate despite the time and distance.
These old friendships helped form who I was. Friends from Civitan, which was far and away my most defining activity as a pre-teen/teen years setting me on a path of success in life, people from my early career where I learned lots of valuable lessons, friends from my childhood and formative years. Those are all the relationships that set the course for my life and I was blessed to have so many great ones!
It’s been heartwarming. But, it has also led me to reflect on some of my less proud moments. I think, down deep, I was always a good person, I know I stood up for the underdog on occasion, but I did definitely go through a mean girl phase–roughly grades 4-8, where I could have been nicer to some of the girls especially. It was a period of Queen Bee syndrome which I have been ashamed of for many years. I started at a new school in grade 9 and quickly fell from class president and popular crowd to loner with no friends. Those two years in Grimsby humbled me, gave me a dose of my own medicine and really showed me what an ass I had been. I sit and wonder, how do I make amends for those things. When you’re faced with the very real possibility of death how do you cleanse your soul of things you aren’t proud of. Some of these girls are on my FB, we have seemingly a copasetic relationship but I’m sure they harbour hurt for my insensitivity. If you’ve stumbled onto my blog, and secretly hate me for not inviting you to my epic sleepovers, or teasing you because of your clothes or appearance, or something worse please know that I am sincerely, and wholeheartedly sorry. There is no excuse. I was just a jerk.
One way I’ve been trying to make amends is doing my best to raise my kids to be empathetic. I couldn’t in a million years picture Ry having the attitude I did (Campbell on the other hand…. well that’s another story) I talk often with Ry about how our actions and even our inactions make other people feel, and about friendships, and being a good person. She’s the girl who will go find the lonely child and include them because they’re left out. And that makes me a pretty proud mama. I won’t take much credit though, she was born with more empathy in her baby finger than I’ve likely had in my life.
I’ve added a handful of the pics sent to me today. I have thousands of my own from those years, but it’s funny to see some that you’ve never seen!
If you have a funny story or memory, reach out- share it! They really make my day (unless the story is about my mean girl phase! But by all means. Dish it. I’d be happy to apologize and hopefully help us both heal!)