Reconnecting

The best by-product of this Blog has been reconnecting with so many old friends.  People I have had no real contact with in years or even decades reaching out to send their thoughts, prayers, old stories, and my favourite today a boat load of old pictures (thanks Rach and Dave for breaking monotony of day #4 in the bubble).  It’s crazy how quickly you can pick up with some people from the past. How the love and warmth doesn’t dissipate despite the time and distance. 

These old friendships helped form who I was.  Friends from Civitan, which was far and away my most defining activity as a pre-teen/teen years setting me on a path of success in life,  people from my early career where I learned lots of valuable lessons, friends from my childhood and formative years. Those are all the relationships that set the course for my life and I was blessed to have so many great ones! 

It’s been heartwarming.  But, it has also led me to reflect on some of my less proud moments. I think, down deep, I was always a good person, I know I stood up for the underdog on occasion, but I did definitely go through a mean girl phase–roughly grades 4-8, where I could have been nicer to some of the girls especially. It was a period of Queen Bee syndrome which I have been ashamed of for many years.  I started at a new school in grade 9 and quickly fell from class president and popular crowd to loner with no friends. Those two years in Grimsby humbled me,  gave me a dose of my own medicine and really showed me what an ass I had been.    I sit and wonder, how do I make amends for those things.  When you’re faced with the very real possibility of death how do you cleanse your soul of things you aren’t proud of.  Some of these girls are on my FB, we have seemingly a copasetic relationship but I’m sure they harbour hurt for my insensitivity.  If you’ve stumbled onto my blog, and secretly hate me for not inviting you to my epic sleepovers, or teasing you because of your clothes or appearance, or something worse please know that I am sincerely, and wholeheartedly sorry.  There is no excuse.  I was just a jerk. 

One way I’ve been trying to make amends is doing my best to raise my kids to be empathetic.  I couldn’t in a million years picture Ry having the attitude I did (Campbell on the other hand…. well that’s another story) I talk often with Ry about how our actions and even our inactions make other people feel, and about friendships, and being a good person. She’s the girl who will go find the lonely child and include them because they’re left out. And that makes me a pretty proud mama. I won’t take much credit though, she was born with more empathy in her baby finger than I’ve likely had in my life.  

I’ve added a handful of the pics sent to me today.  I have thousands of my own from those years, but it’s funny to see some that you’ve never seen! 

If you have a funny story or memory, reach out- share it! They really make my day (unless the story is about my mean girl phase! But by all means. Dish it. I’d be happy to apologize and hopefully help us both heal!)

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Troy says:

    I would have loved to have that hairstyle on you during the LWI days. Just think of the (even more) laughs we would have had

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  2. nicnas57 says:

    Hi Jolene, your blogs are so interesting and thank you for sharing your feelings and stories from within the bubble you are in. So while we are talking about what the past was like, and what it’s made us to be today, I will throw in my 2 cents worth. I have always been very sensitive and that’s not good. I don’t know why it gets in my way and this time it has made me quit my job, or was it the entitled drama stricken toxic constant swearing people I was working with. Sorry a little descriptive but so very true. I have always tried to be professional and kind and helpful but I failed. I failed because I could not reach their level . It wasn’t where I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be the new bitch in town, that wasn’t me. You know though, if I had been that person, I would still have a job. It’s sad that, that is how it is now. Sometimes my wicket mind wishes I was, just to see the look on their faces…lol then I would be the monster in town. Hope I made you laugh.

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  3. Anonymous says:

    Love the pics!!!

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  4. Anonymous says:

    We are all not perfect, that’s for sure and all made mistakes we wish we could take back or change but as long as we are good people…that’s what matters. You are a good person and I really wish the best for you…now kick cancers ass!!
    What you think about, you bring about so keep positive girl and stay strong!! Thinking of you 🙂

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  5. Lesley says:

    I look forward to reading your blog! Your strength is inspiring …..and love hearing about your littles makes me miss when mine were so small❤️ Keep writing I’ll keep reading xoxo praying for you everyday
    Lesley

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