Change of pace

I used to have more done before 530am then I now do in a day, no wait, make that a week. 

I’m not a busy person by nature, it was just a way of life for our family.  Three kids, two careers, 74839 loads of laundry a week, extra circulars, community involvement, it didn’t leave much time for slack. And I was ok with that.  Sadly, there was almost nothing that gave me more of a high than having all my laundry washed and put away on Sunday.  It made me feel like a super mom.  Being tasked focused at least gave me a sense of accomplishment.

Now I’m in an abyss.  1.5 weeks have passed and I’ve barely left my bed.  The weight of the nausea and exhaustion was crippling.  Everything I used to be, a mom, wife, friend, career woman, on hold.  Now it feels I’m just nothing.  Survival mode. A shell of a person. It’s so foreign to me to do nothing.

Thankfully the fog is slowly lifting, but I’m being held hostage by the very real risk of infection and fever.  During my 5 weeks of radiation, I’m not able to take the shots to increase white blood cells, so I’m in a figurative bubble.  We’ve kept the twins home from daycare to decrease exposure to Petri dish. They’re over the moon about it! Again, thank god for our moms.  

 I’m working to adjust my expectations and be OK that I need to let my body rest and just do nothing.  I know it’s temporary, this too shall pass.  And as long as it’s working, it’s worth it.  Extreme times call for extreme measures. 

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Jean Mulloy says:

    Rooting for you

    Like

  2. Heather Schieren says:

    Thank you for your updates, praying and cheering you on!!
    xoxo

    Like

  3. Anonymous says:

    Dear Jolene
    I’m so sorry thatt you have to go through this
    I know it’s real hard right now…
    I know this from experience as i have gone through cancer twice.
    1994/ovarian
    2010/breast.
    Never give up and trust un God
    Stay strong my Dear
    My prayers are with you and your family Irene

    Like

  4. Theressa Mikes says:

    It is a different way of being Jolene and it still takes a village too keep you motivated to keep going sometimes. When there is nothing to do but heal your body don’t let negative thoughts about how hard it is to get in your head. Call a friend or get the kids to draw you a picture. Replace any negative feelings with a happy one. It really works but sometimes hard. Hope you feel better soon. This is just a moment in time and you have a long life ahead of you. Good luck my girl.

    Like

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