I have never appreciated my bed more than after all these hospital stays. Ok- that may be a lie, I had some pretty strong affection for it during that 2 year long bout of co-sleeping/no sleeping, especially those nights I literally climbed in their cribs…. (yes, that happened relatively often) But, I’m sharing a room, which luckily based on my susceptibility I haven’t had to do this far. Man does it suck! My room mates been here the whole time I’ve been here, why is 1am a good time to turn all the lights on to run an EKG? (And other stuff at 3 and 5 and bathroom breaks) I know I should be super grateful for our healthcare system, and I am, but man, I really would have preferred being woken in the night by Gallagher wanting a “baby cuddle” (baby is his word for anything small.)
That reminds me of one my favourite things about being home and bed ridden. They try to keep the kids out of my room while I’m resting or sleeping, but whenever Gallagher knows he’s not being watched he sneaks up and comes in and says “Hi Mama, 2 minute cuddles” and then crawls into his little spot, puts his hand on my belly and snuggles for 45 seconds and says “ok 2 minutes love you mama” and runs back down to play. That boy melts my heart. ❤️ He always kneaded my belly while he nursed and never really gave it up when he weaned. It’s like his version of a lovey. He runs up at the park to put his hand up my shirt to squeeze my belly and then, satisfied, runs back to his playing. He does not appreciate my one piece bathing suits when he has no access! He does it less and less now, just at night when he falls asleep or when he’s hurt or really upset.
Ry seemed to handle this hospital stay better, maybe because it was planned and we explained it was to fight the cancer and not because mommy was sick. Campbell is always quick to say I wish you better and didn’t have to go back to the Doctors Mama. It must be so hard for their little minds to comprehend.
My levels are rebounding nicely, on Thursday they were still critical but when admitted yesterday they were up and a couple were in normal range.
I do have a fun new side effect to add to the list, symptoms of a bladder infection (although I don’t have one, it just sure feels like it) which is another common result of pelvic radiation. The real sting (again, pun intended) was learning that all these symptoms (diarrhea, feeling like I’m peeing glass shards, etc) will likely stick around until a few weeks after radiation finishes. So, I have 2/5 weeks of daily radiation left 😫 and then a couple weeks after that.
In a couple hours I’ll be wheeled away for Brachytherapy (aka internal radiation) I have one round later this afternoon and one tomorrow morning. I will be stuck on a stretcher for 30 hours or so. This doesn’t sound appealing, at all. But, it’s one of the great things about cervical cancer, the have direct access to the tumour and can place the radioactive ☢️ material directly against it, giving it a real one-two punch over the next couple days. So, that’s where I’ll be. Delivering an ass kicking to this SOB while binge watching some Netflix (in all actuality, it will likely be Amazon Prime, specifically The Marvellous Mrs Maisel– must see TV everyone- highly recommended)
Chemo is scheduled for Wednesday-Friday, haven’t been cleared for it yet and feel sick thinking about it, saying, even seeing that word written. I’ve had to unfollow some hashtags from Instagram because of the intense wave of nausea that overcomes me when I even see it.
So, that’s my long winded update- pending chemo there may be some radio silence for a while.
Anyway–I’m off to battle.