I had a good day yesterday. Honestly, probably my first good day since November. I finally felt “ok”. Hopefully a glimpse of things to come….What 2019 has in store for me.
So, a lot of unknowns have been cleared up these last couple weeks as far as the treatment plan goes.
Based on my reaction to treatment thus far my oncologist believes the benefit/reward vs. risk of more chemo is not worth it and that we stop after this, the fourth round. So today I start day 1/3 of my last chemo. On Friday I ring the bell. I’ll be having proactive shots to boost my blood levels and hopefully avoid another hospitalization after this round, because so far I’m 3/3. Unfortunately because of the severity of my last hospitalization I had radiation cut short and only ended up receiving 23 of the 25 planned treatments.
So- the next steps are that we do scans and that sometime in early-mid February I’ll have surgery. If there is no sign of disease on the specimen then we monitor closely, and just trust that treatment has rid my body of any microscopic spread.
Most of the time I’ve been able to exist in a space where I believe this is a curative treatment — that is the only outcome. I will be cured. I will return to my life that I seemed to have walked away from so suddenly a few months ago. I know that on paper (or more specifically google) that’s not as definitive. Reoccurrence is a very real risk with this type of cancer. But I’m hoping to channel that into living my life as positively and as fully as possible. Think “Live like I was Dying” by Tim McGraw. I may not ride a bull named Fumancho, but I will make the most of whatever healthy time I have left, be it 2 years or 50. Hoping on the latter.