12 Years. 12 years ago today, my best friend, my love, my whole world. You made me the luckiest guy in the world by marrying me on a sunny and crisp winter day. I’ll never forget how beautiful and perfect everything was that day – all because of you. We used to reminisce and smile for years after about how much we loved that day, and how much fun we would have had, attending as guests – you always truly planned to please others. Whether it was for friends, family, our kids – or just me. You knew how to put smiles on faces and laughter and love in the air, even in this final year – you never stopped being epic. A true legend. And better yet, you caught so much of “us” on camera and film – ensuring these “moments” would live forever, helping me and our kids through trickier days like today – almost like you knew how much we might need it one day. I’m so grateful (and I know that you’d be happy with me openly acknowledging) how much sifting through your photo’s and memories have helped me both start and finish today. And even more so, I’m forever thankful and look forward to watching some of the beautiful video clips of your memories and heartfelt messages that you left for the kids and I to watch. I’ve waited for tomorrow to share these special moments as I really wanted you to be a part of our “Family Day” tomorrow, just as you are everyday – we love and miss you so much mommy.
But, much like you would have wanted, and even reminded me in one of your notes “that sitting around being sad doesn’t do anyone any good” – I made the most of “our day” today, by making sure the kids were busy and having fun. We got out, saw people and friends, went places, smiled, laughed. We were a family – and you were with us. Always.
As much fun as our kids had today – my favourite memory of the day was seeing another family make their own memories. As we were leaving town this afternoon, I happened to catch out of the corner of my eye a mom (whose name you’ve always adored) and her kids building four snowmen (one for each of them) in their front lawn – and it brought the biggest smile to my face, a true sense of joy. A beautiful and happy moment for them, and me – just seeing the love of a parent and her children – reminded me so much of how you adored your kids more than anything in this world. I needed that today and am so thankful for seeing it. Life truly is beautiful.
Last night, I watched one of the last movies that you and I both watched, Rocketman. As much as I loved watching the movie again, I find listening to our songs and some of our favourite music helps keep me feel lifted and loved. The only thing that is missing is dancing with you in our kitchen – which I couldn’t help but do today, even with pitter-patter of our beauts playing upstairs – like we used to do. It was a little tear-filled and not nearly as fun, but I could still sense our hands – feel your head on my shoulder – hear your beautiful words of music. Much like his love for music and his best friend – ours too, is so genuine and very present. And so, “I hope you don’t mind that I’ve put down in words”, and leave you on “our day”, with the song that we danced to – like many a song before.